Sunday, April 1, 2012

My First Confession: I Am Guilty Of Everything

First of all, I think I have committed every sin known to God counting both actions and desires of the heart. Haven't you? Secondly, I'm bisexual, and self-righteous people don't get along with me. If you haven't hit back on your browser, you should keep reading. I grew up a Southern Baptist in a small town in Kentucky. I'll have to admit that more than once, I came home from a sermon convinced I was no longer saved from eternal damnation. As a child, this played with my head, yet I have to say it also kept me close to Jesus as well. I proclaimed at 7 years old that I was going to become a preacher when I grew up, even giving the occasional sermon.

As time progressed and I got older, I was a rather rebellious person. I mean who can say they've dropped a triple stack of Ecstasy, smoked a blunt laced with cocaine, and finished off almost a whole fifth of Jim Beam in one night? Or how about the time I took some bad acid and thought I was dead and walking by clouds. While most everyone has seen their party days, I definitely had my share, and I was usually the one throwing them. I'll never forget the summer of 1999, and I'm sure I'll never remember most of it either. As the years went by, God kept ahold of this prodigal son, but I was sure I was testing his limits. His love, without conditions, is what keeps all of us within his reach and safe from harm.

I had my experiences with both Pentecostal and non-denominational church settings, and as a mature adult, I went with the latter. This decision, along with my maturing faith, gave me the stance that love is above all. We are nothing without Christ, and all of us are equally imperfect and guilty of sins that cannot stand in the presence of Jesus. While this is my faith, and I know that everyone needs a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I don't find shoving it down their throats to be at all effective. I have always repeated that actions speak louder than words, and people can just as easily be a living witness as they can be a direct witness. Pushing forward, my priority is to love other people, make sacrifices, and to focus more on obedience.
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4 comments:

  1. I don't have a problem with anything you said here. Most of the people who read this prob have had a PARTY time in there life! Some of us are still partying! lol I know I questioned god and if he would really put us though such a tuff time in loosing our son Mathew we drank almost everynight hell I think it was every night and did things we are not proud of! But I think it has made us stronger people and helped us think about life more! We visit him not as often as we could but he holds a special place in our hearts and we include him in special events like Flashlight Easter egg hunting at the grave yard! Just hang in there and know that We are here for you if you need someone to talk to!

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    1. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you guys losing Matthew. I really appreciate the feedback and the fact that you can identify with what I am trying to say. God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world but rather to save it. There are things that are hard to explain, and we all make many mistakes, but his love transcends all. I think it is wonderful how much you include Matthew in what your family does. Thanks, and you know where to find me too.

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  2. A saint is a sinner that keeps getting up :)

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    1. Isn't that the truth! over and over and over again. Thanks for reading my blog Lacey :)

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