Confessions of a Christian

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Seeking God First Makes All The Difference

Seek God (Photo credit: CharlotteAChung)

Have you ever wanted to stop doing something, but you just couldn't seem to quit? You pray about it, ask God for help, give it your best, and then it doesn't happen. What's the problem? I have been smoking cigarettes ever since I was 15 years old, and I have wanted to quit numerous times. I have asked God to help me, made preparations, set goals, purchased substitute products, and still nothing. So if you're wondering what you're doing wrong when you fail at quitting something, I too have been in that same boat many times. We all have, and I have still yet to quit smoking.

Jesus says "If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it." John 14:14 If I asked God in Jesus name to help me quit smoking, I should've been able to quit already. So why haven't I quit? I believe there are two things that stop us, and they definitely work in conjunction with one another. First of all, you must have the true desire to quit whatever it is that you are wanting to stop doing. A true desire must be matched by faith that God will carry you through and deliver on his promise. Do you see how these two principles are completely connected? Your faith must be strong so that you are, and your commitment must have Jesus as the foundation; built on a rock.

Many of us try to handle things on our own until something comes up that is too difficult. That is when we turn to God, and when the results aren't what we want, we wonder why? Instead of asking God why, we should examine ourselves. Perhaps I haven't quit smoking yet because my faith isn't strong enough. Maybe I still smoke because I love smoking more than I love God? Don't get all bent out of shape with that question because it is a very common problem among us Christians. Instead, ponder the truth for a minute that we often find ourselves loving something else more than God, and think about whether there is anything or anyone that you love more than God. Self-examination is one of the main ways we grow in Jesus as Christians folks.

I'm not ashamed to say that I have loved many things more than God in my past, and I struggle with those issues today as well. If I didn't, I would be perfect, and I would have everything figured out already. Maybe you have something that is bothering you like I do with my smoking cigarettes. What are we going to do about it? While faith in Jesus and a true desire to quit are necessary, so are the support of other Christians around us. If we focus more on our own problems, then we are able to compassionately help and love others much easier instead of judging them. In order to do this, we must love God first, and we must seek his will in our lives. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 We try to make it so difficult on ourselves, but it all comes back to faith and trust in our Creator.

~ I want to give a special thanks to a comment that was made about self-examination that greatly influenced my post today. Thanks ML!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

God's Love Transcends Sin and Judgment

in God's loving care (Photo credit: Leonard John Matthews)

What do you do when no one is looking? Imagine if everyone in a church was made to stand up and tell their darkest secrets. Hi, I'm having an affair. Hello, I have a cocaine habit, but you're not supposed to know that. Hi, I watch porn videos at night while my wife is sleeping. Hi, don't tell me anything because I will just turn around and tell your secret. I smoke weed, I'm an alcoholic, I have a gambling problem, I'm embezzling money, I have a habit of shoplifting; this would continue on and on. What about the child molesters, wife-beaters, and rapists? How many racist people would stand up? Would there be a murderer in the congregation?

I don't know what you do when you're alone, but I can tell you that I'm not always happy with myself in that same situation. While this church confession is very unlikely to happen, it is important to remember that we're not fooling anyone. "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good." Proverbs 15:3 "God is always watching" is a phrase we often hear, but contemplate for a moment the truth behind those words. God really does see those dark secrets that we think are hidden away. That church confession that would likely produce heart attacks for a few members of any congregation, wouldn't be news to the Lord.

It's perplexing how quick to judge we are at times when we've tilled the same ground time and time again. Despite God having seen more than we could ever imagine, his unconditional love is still ready for everyone. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:17 I think what I want to work on doing is to look at what is wrong with my own self instead of finding ways to point fingers at others. I believe the more we do this, the more we are able to discern the difference between judging others and correcting others actions in love.

If we remember that the eyes of the Lord are in every place, then that should help us keep our self-righteousness in check. It can be rather tempting to say that we aren't the murderers, the adulterers, the drug users, the child molesters, or the alcoholics, to name a few. For that, I have two things to say. What sins are we not guilty of committing in our hearts? Also, who are we to judge the weight of different sins? Now we have to go back to the church confession. Each one of us knows our own heart, and we know what we are guilty of doing. God sees everything, and instead of judging others, he wants us to love others. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

Christ's Resurrection: Let The Redeemed Of The Lord Say So

Psalm 9:10 (Photo credit: [Share the Word])

I enjoyed many great Easter egg hunts as a child. There was one in particular that is forever etched in my memory because of a certain incident that really made an impression on me at the time. I was out at my great uncle's church in rural Kentucky, and my sister and I were getting ready to hunt for eggs. Several minutes after we began the hunt, my sister found this enormous golden egg, and I remember hoping that there was another one just like it. After the hunt, we all came together, and my sister opened up her golden egg. Inside was a five dollar bill. I'm not saying I didn't have any good thoughts, but one of the main reasons why I remember that day so vividly is because she found the golden egg and I didn't.

That incident doesn't stand alone, as I distinctly remember my sister catching the biggest bass in family history with a cane pole right next to the bank of the pond. From what I've told you so far, you would think my sister was the lucky one between the two of us. Truth is, I was the golden child, and everyone always paid attention to me. How selfish I was then, and how selfish I still am now. I would like to say that I put others before myself, but that is only with God's help. We need him to do everything! "I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5 It's like that old hymn "Without him I can do nothing, without him I'd surely fail, without him I would be drifting, like a ship without a sail."

Easter is a time when we remember his sacrifice on the cross after the Passover, and we claim his gift of eternity in the power of his name. It is a time in which we celebrate and witness to the power of Christ's resurrection and the life in him that it brings. It is human nature to be selfish, but he wants us to live for him instead of ourselves. "And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." 2 Corinthians 5:15 Living for Jesus helps us as Christians to lose our selfishness, sacrifice the pleasures of the flesh, and love our neighbor. As we remember Christ's resurrection today, let us focus on everything it means. His resurrection brings us life and the promise and certainty that we too will be resurrected one day. The dead in Christ shall rise, so let the redeemed of the Lord say so!

Friday, April 6, 2012

True Life Is In The Blood Of Jesus

There have been times in my life when I've denied Christ. I asked Jesus into my heart when I was seven years old, but that didn't stop me from occasional self-destruction. Aren't we all guilty of denying Christ from time to time? I mean, I always hear people talk about whether or not they took the opportunity to witness. If we don't, isn't that denying Christ in a way? I have to say that in certain situations, I have not only failed to mention that there is life in the blood, but I have quickly agreed with words spoken against God just so I didn't have to stand up strong and witness for him. Isn't that how Peter felt when he denied Christ three times at the crucifixion?

There's an old Baptist hymn that I remember singing all the time called "Power in the Blood." Power, power, wonder-working power in the precious blood of the lamb. Today is Good Friday, so I am sitting here thinking about the power in the blood. You know, my mother always says it a different way, and it is something that has stuck with me for years now. She says that there is "life in the blood," and I recently heard a sermon about that as well. The only true life available to us is in the blood, as everything else is but dust and ashes.

Many of us claim, including myself, that we would die for certain people. Regardless of whether we would be able to pull that off, Jesus died for everyone. There has never been a greater sacrifice, and there never will be one. On top of that, our dying for someone can't cover the person's sins because we are not without sin ourselves. In the Old Testament, animal sacrifices were made, and the blood of the clean animal was shed to atone for people's sins. "For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul." Leviticus 17:11 It is life that is in the blood substituted for the life of the sinner who deserves to die.

In order to permanently cover everyone's sins, Jesus took it upon himself to give his life so that the world might be saved. I'll be honest, I get angry when a Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I should take the opportunity to witness, but I just think about Satan's deceptive ways. This group of people can seem like they align with everything a Christian believes, until in different ways, they subtly drop the bombshell on you that Jesus isn't the Savior. That is just like Satan, blending in with the crowd, and then ever so gently trying to rip the life right out of your hands. Jesus said "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

I know that Satan is very deceptive, so I can understand and have been myself drawn away from the Lord by him. One of his favorite techniques is to distract us, blinding us to what is really going on. If he can distract us with impulsive pleasures, then he has won. Think about what that means. We are but useless droids without Jesus. We are inferior fools, running around indulging in instant gratification, failing to see the treasure that is before us. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Doesn't that make you want to tell Satan to shove it? We are not capable of fighting Satan alone. Try it! You will lose. There is life in the blood of Jesus, and it is through him that we "make up there come down here" as my pastor always says.

This is a weekend in which we celebrate both the sacrifice that Jesus made and his resurrection on Easter Sunday. Christ can provide so many resurrections in the lives of those who are hurting. He paid the ultimate sacrifice on the cross, and he is here today to show us a life that is truly worth living. "The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus." Romans 6:10-11

Thursday, April 5, 2012

A True Relationship (Love) Never Dies; A Conflicted View

I have been asked from time to time why I'm not in a relationship. That's a loaded question. First of all, I think there are people in this world who are not meant for starting families. God has other intentions for their lives, and I feel like I am one of those people. I have also never been one to completely agree with myself being bisexual, so that type of relationship isn't an option either. Another main reason I don't want a relationship is because of how much this world has turned its back on many of the values that should be present in a relationship. Now I'm not saying I've practiced abstinence either, which means that perhaps my chosen solution isn't a very good one.

I am 30 years old, so I have had my share of relationships in the past. While my choice is to no longer pursue them, at least at this time, everyone needs social interaction and closeness to others in different ways in order to survive in this world. I am a very extroverted, social, and communicative person, so I fill in my gaps with family and friends. Sometimes I think I know what I'm doing, and sometimes I wonder what I should be doing differently. While it has always been a perplexing part of life for me, it has been my path with its ups and downs, and I have definitely enjoyed the journey. I'm sure it helps feed my selfishness to an extent as well, as I get to focus on myself more than most people do.

Continuing along this path, I realize this means that I will not have any children of my own. Starting a family is one of the main reasons people have relationships. I have contemplated this decision many times, but I feel as though it is in tune with my direction in life. Either way, I never claimed to have the answer; I just trust that God will direct me where he wants me to go. I'm aware there are many different ways to look at this situation, and that is why our need for God is very evident. There is no way I could sort all of that out! I need his help, just like with everything else, and everything provided to me is from him.

Relationships aren't the only thing failing in this world. I just chose to write about them because I had certain things I wanted to say regarding my personal experiences. I see so many people hurting from relationships because there is not the right bond formed due to our whole world losing focus on what constitutes a true relationship. Divorce rates are always increasing, and you hear about all these murders and tragic family situations. Don't get me wrong. I know there are many people who have great relationships. The only problem with that is some of them haven't yet withstood the test of time just yet. As the years go by, the statistics get worse for these same relationships in question. The people are getting older, and something gives. I honor the older couples we see today that are still together. My great-grandmother is still alive, and she was married to her husband almost her whole life before he died in 2008. These are the relationships from back when that we should model our own after, but I'm telling you they're going to be hard to find in a few years.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Art Of Being Made A Fool

It was time for another beer run one night, and there was no money. There was a group of about 7 of us, and we all sat around for a few minutes trying to come up with an idea to get beer. Not wasting any time, I decided that I was going to steal the beer, and I needed a driver. One of the girls decided she would drive my car, and I told everyone we would be back in a few minutes. I had never done anything like this before, and I wanted to feel the rush. That is what I told my friends. After we drove around nervously for several minutes, I finally selected the BP on the corner of Clark and Memorial. I prepared myself for what I was about to do, and I got out of the car.

As I went inside the store, I kept an even pace, and I went to grab the beer from the cooler. I was 19 at the time, so I wasn't even old enough to buy it in the first place. Grabbing a carton of cigarettes on the way to the front counter, I made eye contact with the cashier, and then took off running toward the side door at the last second. There I was, on the run with a case of beer and a carton of cigarettes. I quickly got in the car, and my friend hesitated, looking at me with wide eyes as she said "You didn't see the cop?!" I was so oblivious to my surroundings that I didn't see that an officer was walking in one side of the store as I ran out the other door.

Go! Go! Go! I was screaming for her to go, and we were both scared out of our minds. Sure enough, the officer had ran out to his car in pursuit, and we were pulled over less than a half-mile down the road. The hope I felt inside was quickly taken away, and I didn't know what to do. They slapped the cuffs on me, and they took me off to jail. I was so blind that I had run out of a gas station with stolen merchandise as a cop was walking in the other side. You know how I felt? I felt like a fool. I had let Satan blind me so badly that I didn't even realize how much my back was to God. How could I have let this happen?

As Christians, we go through life thinking about how we can live for God, as we make the right choices and help others receive the gift of salvation. Viewing God as a safety net and feeding our own egos, we feel that spotting trouble is easy. If we choose to participate in sinful activities occasionally, that's fine because our foundation in God will rectify our situation. After all, we are entitled to the free gift once we receive it right? This is where we lose ourselves, and Satan's cunning ways take over. We are never entitled to anything that God gives us. This ego trip, courtesy of Satan, is one of the steps he takes to catch us off guard. God gives us everything we have, and we deserve absolutely nothing. Without him, we are absolutely nothing. It is so evident how a personal daily relationship with Jesus and his Word is needed in order to survive.

We wonder how bad things happen to us and those we love. We have created this disaster, from the first sin to the current situation of this world. We consistently revert back to our own egos, thinking we can determine on our own how to live. This is how Satan deceives us, and then he is able to continue deceiving us without us even knowing. The battle that is taking place is something that we will fully comprehend only after death. Everything we view evil in this world is still seen through a filter of hope. We put limitations on evil based on our own narrow-minded thinking, but true evil is pure evil, and it is relentlessly attempting to confuse and blind everyone. If we go into the battle unprepared, we lose the battle.

Monday, April 2, 2012

When Things Don't Make Sense Without God

I'll never forget looking up from the ground at two much larger and older guys standing over me as I wondered what they were going to do next. My friend and I were at a gas station in Tennessee, and I had been inside calling the police on the two guys just moments earlier. After having been slapped, provoked, and scissor kicked to the ground, I found myself standing back up on my feet, and my best friend had just hit each of the guys once over the head with a tire iron. Bleeding, both of them were still standing, and everyone was in shock. Panicking, my friend and I fled the scene as the police arrived simultaneously. I had been assaulted first, and then again, and I had followed up by calling the police. Everything had been in our favor up to that point. However, thanks to the severity of the weapon used, us fleeing the scene, and a warrant out for my arrest for a bad check, the police didn't listen to us very much. The other side was just much more believable.

After my friend spent 30 days in jail, he had already been found guilty, and the appeals process began. After two appeals, his conviction was overturned, and the case was suddenly closed with a happy ending. The two guys my friend had struck with the tire iron needed stitches, and evidently there were other further injuries claimed by one of them. Judge Judy field researchers caught wind of the case, and they offered to fly us all out to LA to make it a show. It was quite an adventure, and of course my friend was cleared in self defense again, not owing any damages. We went everywhere in LA, and we even crashed a hotel wedding party featuring several celebrities. The result of everything seems rather strange, but the whole ordeal was extremely serious. It is a time that taught me many difficult lessons.

The actual events happened in 2000, and the trip to California was in 2001. What really agitates me is how certain I was at the time of the attack that my best friend was justified in hitting them over the head with a tire iron. The courts proved it, and he had done it to help me when I was down on the ground in a fight. It was a very controversial case with two appeals, and that is why the show even picked it up. It's something I'll never forget, thinking of my friend protecting me by hitting those two guys over the head with a tire iron. Was it justified? I'm not so sure anymore, but my friend protected me; I do know that.

Three DUI's later, he was less concerned about whether or not the assault had made it on his record. If you're really wondering what my take is on the situation, well, he is my friend. I stuck by his side through everything, and I left the judgment for the true judge. What I think is that we all make plenty of mistakes, both on purpose and also when trying to do the right thing for God, other people, and ourselves. I know what God wanted me to learn from the incident, and I let go, giving it over to the one who knows all. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

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Sunday, April 8, 2012

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Friday, April 6, 2012

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Thursday, April 5, 2012

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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

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Monday, April 2, 2012

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